[[ muacks` ]]

2008-10-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

2008-10-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

2005-06-03T06:22:00.000-07:00

jus now i listen to my 2 version of ying yue ri ji lah..hais! so touchingg and i decided to write my own story and mayb i will send it over... hehes. see!
[[ 22.o2.o3. ]] at e skool bball.i saw him [[ xz ]] . he was shoo cute looking and chubby loh. everyone was playin vball except me and he walk up to me and acc me. we had a great tok. and i noe at tat time i fell in love wid me. it's makes me blive 'love @ first site'. a few daes later i heard tat one of my good frens. 'm' and zz stead loh. hais. i was so sadded at tat time. but i tell myself i will nv break dem up. daes by daes pass and one dae he came up to me and told me i love you. hahas. u understand tat kind of feel? but it was all jokes i noe. frm tat daes onwards afta evrydae i walk pass his cls he would sae i love you. actually he not onli sae to me but some of my frens. he would always do alot of mushy things lah.he started calling me dear and sending lots of love picture msg to me. 'm' startedto hate me cos i tink she tot i was goin to b e 3rd party lah. hais. at tat time i felt left up and i cried but he was dere to cheer me up. he told me not to worry and he will help me solve de probs loh. at e time i was relived . i trusted on him and i knew tat i can count on him. he aso promise me tat he would nv jokes dose kind of thing wid me again. i asked myself shd i b happie or shd i not? shd he sae he love me wen he doesn't? hais. i was puzzled. afta all i didn't care much but see e both of dem happily together.

[[ 15.12.o3 ]] he asked me who i love? i tot he knew and he purpeously us. so i jus replied ..YOU ! and he was lyk kinda shock he tot all e rumours were all jokes. OMGG! dat means i hab jus confess my love to him? at tat time he and m had addy break up and he fell in love wid tis gal 'J' .. 'J' was my primary skool buddy. he told me to gib him time to decide and i tot tat i still stand a chance but afta all i was happie for jus a while. he told me tat he onli love 'J'.. haiss.. my heart sank once again. a few daes later he asked me how much do i love him. i sae i duno how to ans this qns loh. den he sae ' sorri now my heart onli got 'J' ,den i can onli sae mayb nes life bah , paiseh leh. i love you (just kidding onli) ..tears fell down immidiately @ tat time he still can joke wid me. he suddenly call me and sae ' i love you. i told my frens and dey told me it was not worthy fer me to like him.daes by daes pass...

[[ 22.o2.o4 ]] i am still in love wid him.one yr jus pass lyk tis.ppl ard me all sae i am so chiqing.he had a stead @ tat time name 'I'.. i didn't car tat much but i was sad.daes was well. everytime i see him i would b happie. until...

[[ o2.o6.o4 ]] he stead wid my GODSISS!!! my own godsis. dat time i cried .tears could not b controlled i cried e whole nite. i didn't know wad to do but jus to see dem together. i nv blame dem as love cnt b forced. hais. seeing him stead wid all my own frens e feeling was really terrible ..it was jus lyk a knife gab me a stab on my heart.

[[ 31.o8.o4 ]] criedd again. tis time he told me to gab up on him. he sae he is heartpain of seeing my nick loh. he started calling ppl to introduce guys to me loh. i tried to gib up but i can't .e more u wan to gib up de more u can't loh. e more hopes u put in e more dissapointed u r loh.haiss. i let natural takes place bah.i am satisfied .. at least he still cares bout me and nv avoid me even since he knew i love him. now he hab someone in heart le.i hope to see both of dem together.. jiayous..xiaozhu! he bought me lots of pains and happiness and both bcame memoriess..cry fer him alot of times jus bcos i love him

[[27.o1.o5]] imLOST now. bery lost. las nite i totally canot slp lohs. haiis. i kp tinking of e words he told me & suddenly 933 got chunzai. it brought me back to e memoriies we had okiie. tis was the first time in lifetime i cried tat sadly &amp;amp;amp;amp; not noeiin e reason why i br8 down. haiis. life miserble. will leave on? i manage to get some consolation frm ridzwan. & actually jas but he slp le. so i sms 'him'. he nv replii. i sincerly told all e words which came out deep frm moii heart lohs. i was lyk tinking since he don't lyk me but i hav e rights to like him rites.? he no need to call me to go &amp;amp;amp;amp; lyk someone else de rites. u noe tat momment hurt okiie. & somemore he told me since tat guy lyk u fer so long how can u expect him to wait? den was lyk tinking HELLO BOI WAITED FER YOU FER EVEN LONGER HOW CAN U EXPECT ME TO WAIT. it e same isn't it? i now really wanted to gib up him lohs. it am tired le. after almost 2 yrs. of pains &amp;amp;amp;amp; sheding of tears. actually now i wan to tell him sth: u can carri on wid ur STEAD and jus treat me transparent bahs. wad fer u care about how i feel. wad fer you care about if i still lyk u? WHY? all dis daes i jus treated u as frens lohs. but my heart did'nt. i want to find someone hu can replace him. but hu's dere? now i aso dun even dare to face him anymore. see him my heart is jus torn apart lohs. todae in skool . i was lyk feeling so miserable okiie. & out of sudden i breakdown. tears surrounded my eyes. wenever i tink of him. my heart was broken okiie. why love so hard? why do i hab to suffer all dis while.? wad hab i done? isn't him de one hu made me lyk him first? why did he tease me rite at e start of e skool telling me he LOVE me but it was jus kidding? why did he send me all e love msg? WHY? he can't blame me frm all dis rites? he shd help to bear e responsiblities den to push it all to me rites? now i jus feel tat all my sacrifies hab gone down to e drain. i am tired le. GAME OVER! i jus hope we could still b frens after all. i got afeel after tis matter we aren't fren anymore. cos he told me yesterdae le. dat he tried not to kp in contact wid me le. other den MSN. haiis. why did everyting turn out lyk tis? can u tell me? i am sadd.!

[[3o.o3.o5]- it all ENDED.!!!

2004-12-28T07:25:00.000-08:00

YOU were the one whom i wish could b by myself weneva i am down. but you were never dere.
YOU were the one whom i purpeously came online to see whether you were dere. but you & i jus seldom tok lyk we used to b.
YOU were the one whom i really feel lyk huggin it in my arms to b dere wheneva u r down. but i guess you jus dun need me.
YOU were the one whom i will b happie wheneva my msg appear ur name. but we dun sms lyk how we used to b anymore.
YOU were the one who appear in my tot all time. but i noe in your mind dere won't b a single me.
YOU were the one whom i couldn't slp jus bcos i am excited to see you de nes dae. but what use i jus waste my slping time.
YOU were the one whom i wanted to protect when you are bein bullied but i jus dun hab e guts to do so.
YOU were the one whom i try to gib you all the things you ask fer. but hab you never gib me things i ask fer.
YOU were the one whom is picture in my mind wheneva i am in pain. but would you hab me in ur mind wen u r sadd. stab tat u guys me. who gonna heal?
YOU were the one whom i wonder hold ur hand and tell e whole world you are mine. but i guess you wouldn't hab tis kind of thinkingg.

but i want to thank you cos you made me learn lessons which i can't learn myself. you let me do why ppl sae lurve hurts. sad i am.

pissed off.

2004-12-02T23:45:00.000-08:00

~~FUK~~ up!!! i m so pissed offf. by this stopid com. i tink kena lots of virus and now dyingg soon le. hope it don't die loh. if it die i aso die ahs. i can't live without it. faster call doctor cum. lol. now update cos tonite mabbie goin out wid my aunt dey all. we gonna ton till late late dun cum back. cos my biao kor is out frm e army.. yeaaah!!! hahas. todae wake up by e stopid construction thingy lahs. 9 am at dere knock and drill e thinggg. so kpkb lohs.ppl wan slp aso cnt.. mus b dat old lady again lahs.always cr8 troubles. i wan go complain ahs. now still doin. wth!!! go die lahs. wake up den write thingy den plae com awhile den watch mvp... hehes. koolz nehs. den go write thingy again&pack room. den now online lohs. shoo sians.

[[ i rather hab a stab in my heart by him den being backstab by my own good frens. ]]

msg.

2004-11-08T06:17:00.000-08:00

_____` imp0rtant ppl of my life.

x) unafraid larlinggsx =x [[ lurve damm lots ]]

ahleo: thanks fer always being dere wen i needed you most. i trusted you most . i told u almost all secrects in me. hahas. tat was las time.but now quite seldom but still got.dun forget to share wid me too hor. i promise to b dere weneva u need me.now in love wid yangyang.hais.i understand how u feel cos u noe i hab experience it bfer but i really envy tat at least u hab being wid him fer a period and memories are there. fer e quotes sae .love no need to b together but as long dere is memories. it's really hard to let go lohs. dun let love defeat us gals .we mus b strong to overcome all e difficulties together k? unafraid will b together always. gib me a call weneva u need me. 24 hrs service.
ahju: thanks fer all ur advice. u hab been a good listener and an advisor.weneva i am down u nva failed to cheer me up.thanks fer always hearing all e craps. thanks fer always being dere wen i needed you. too mani thanks le bah. u hab really being a good erjie. u really live me up. ur advice really helps me dammdamm lots. ur cares&concern i really appreciate it. las time we used to share more things but now seldom le bahs. now i really duno hu u r really in lub wid.i am sure is not panweibo. but iwana sae wishing all e best in ur love lifes. remember not to gib up urself.cos noone gta gib up u. u r really a nice gal .unafraid together always. 24 service always dere if u needed someone.
johnnica: though me and you isn't tat good bahs. we seldom share things but we not never lahs. sometimes really got lohs. you r a nice gals lah. i really duno wad to sae to you. but to sae u r a really nice frens who won't failto b dere wen u needed her.i promise to b dere weneva u need me too okie? wid doug should b quite well le.can see dat u love him damm lots loh. wishing u all e bes lah. remember dere are roads ahead fer u too look forward. unafraid together always.
johniema: shoo. i duno wad to sae bout u. a bery nice and cheery gal lah. hu cheers everyone up.i duno wad happen btwn us tis dae but i hope to get back to e past where we hab happie momments. and ya.stop asking me ' y i still love 'him' okie. i really duno. hmm. love life isn't on u now. but dun b sad unafraid will b dere fer you always.remeber always look @ wad u hab left but not wad u hab lost. hope u find someone hu is suitable fer ya bahs. i am sure u will. u r a nice gals. unafraid together always.always wid ya.
xiangyu: i noe you most long in unafraid rites. since p1 we were frens and i really wan to thanks god for frens lyk u lah. i may hab bullied u tis dae .hahahahs! but i mus sae u hab really provide lots of joys to my life. i wana thanks u for always cheering me up wen i am down. xiangyu. todae i got sth impt to tell u and tat is . u will never noe wad u hab lost until its gone.tis quotes teaches u wad is TREASUREE. pls treasure e things rite infront of you. dun let it slip away okie.seng is a good person. i noe u still hab feel for someone else but pls think of seng's feel okie. aneway. i will support ur decision. i will b dere okiee? unafraid always together.
ahmin: thanks fer always being dere to cheer me up and weneva i needed u ppl. u nv failed to gib me advice lohs. u r really a nice fren and i dun wana lose you. okie? noeing you i will nv regret lah. thanks fer hearing all my craps lohs and tolerating me wen i hab mood swings. thanks fer acc me to skool to see him and i will nv fergets okie. love life? haben intend to find one? i noe u still love niao lohs. y always sae dun love le. lying to urself is not a good idea okie. i am sure u will find a good partner.being wid u always. unafraid always okie.

endinn`` ___ unafraid sistars. i really love ya damm lots.thanks. we will b together always.memories in us stay alwyas.unafraid roxss!

x) e person hu makes me stop&start cryingg.

ahem: hais.mayb i shdn't fall in love wid you.but i dunno wad really happens wen dere was tis pharase ' feeling towards you'.mayb i shdn't care fer you but y does i miss you so much. i am totally crazi in love wid u. i duno why did i fall fer you. was it bcos on tt particular dae acc me? was it bcos u always tease me? was it bcos ur love pic msg when it was jus fer fun? was it bcos u always call me dear bcos i was nice& ezgoin?was it bcos ur fake 'i love you' sentence every morning? was it bcos u cheer me up wen i was sad? why why why? why e person i fell fer was YOU? u were e one hu stop me from crying but u was e one hu makes me start crying too. u hab gab me a stab in my heart and you duno how bad e blood was bleeding. cos u didn't understand me. u promise to b dere wen i needed you and promise to lend me a listen ear and ur shoulder to lean. how i wish i could share all tis wid u but i can't cos u addy hab an eye fer her. i love you lyk how much u love her or perharps even more. u noe i tried my bes to b dere weneva u were down .weneva u needed some consolation. pull u up weneva u r discourage but hu gonna do all tat fer? i treated you wholeheartly and i noe tat u wouldn't noe.do u noe e love i hab for u is deeper den e sea. higher den e sky and a force greater den e thunder&amp;ligthning&e mightest hurricane.you hab bcum my reason of living.weneva i see ur pics my breathing actually stops mommentally,arrested under e weight of all my feelings of love and passion.words can nv express and enuf how i feel.do you noe wheneva i wake up my first tot was your smile bcos i'm filled wid anticipation of thinking of you everydae. i really neber expected myself to fall for you till tis bery dae. 625 daes.hais. i hab done my part and hab did all sacrifices le. u ever told me to gib up and u sae u really feel hurt to see my nick and you didn't wanted to sae things cos u tot i would do silly stuff and u didn't wanted to hurt me more. i tried to let go but i can't. tears really fall and many times i suffered frm depression. i really glad tat u still care and i am satisfied. ppl sae i am really silly to hold something not really worthy but why? why are feeling still dere. i jus don't understand. i am feeling tat me and u r really drifting apart. life without you are lyk sky without star and drug addict without drugs. i simply can't . i tot i would b a good chance fer me to fergets u during dis hoolidae but i can't. i hab been missing u everydae and i cried jus bcos i miss u . how? how i am goin to go on lyk tis? i duno wad my hearts really wan. tears really fell down tis bery momment.i am puzzled . i dun really expect anything frm you. i jus want to admit defeat and quit from tis game. bfer endin all tis i mus sae seeing you happy is my greatest wish.hope ur love life wid her will b good. i will b dere to support you.no matter wad i will b dere. *tears* dui bu qi. wo ai ni.

x) e one hu grow me up.

mum: i really duno wad happen? u hab change u were no longer e mummy u used to b. u forced me to do things i didn't wanted to do. if i didn't do u sae i disobey u? wad do u expect? mum i am 14 le. do i hab to do everything u ask me to? e law nv sae tat? can u gib me some freedom? sometimes my frens wan me to tok back to u but i fell it was really bad so i jus did wad i suppose to. i hab got enuf? and i really hope tat u dun shout @ ,me tat often lohs. y mus u? y can my frens take up jobs and not me?y? i noe u care butt. haisss..! why did u care more den wad u was suppose to? why u always call me to do thinggs and not her? y? why mus u scold me wen i wanted to help u do ur things but jus slighty later? y? i jus dun understand? i am old enuf adddy. u r sometimes an angel to me who i can share lots of things wid. u would buy things i wanted. i would hugs and kiss u sometimes. but u r sometimes lyk an evil.haiss. love ya aneway

dad: i duno wad to sae.but thanks fer all ur care.though abit naggy lah hor. u stimes aso quite unreasonable lah hor. thanks fer being e chaffeur to drive me around. thanks fer always buying food fer me.thanks fer putting in so much hard work to our family. and e care u show. i love ya !

x) ppl hu left me wid memories.

van: it hab been a really really long time since i las since you.and i really miss ya alot. how life dere? how's ur health? r u feeling better? i hope u r? it hab been a long time since i las heard frm you lehs. hais. i really miss e time i hab wid u. hais. u hab really being a bery good guy and i really treasure u. i treat u more den a godbro bahs. cos sacrifies of wad u hab made hab really touch me.thanks fer always being dere.thanks fer all e time u spare wid me. love ya always. hope to cya soon.muacks.

jas: i won't forget e time u cheer me up bahs. all ur advice.hais. all tis 2 yr. i think u hab change alot lah.hais.i jus duno how to sae loh.u hab really being a good frens and i wana thanks god fer sendin such nice frens to me.treasure u i will.all e best in ur love life .hope u find ur true love soon.most important.thanks fer saving my life. yea.there u go.

___continue tml .late le. ____ 1:17 am.

n2!!!

2004-11-04T08:43:00.000-08:00

noe wad? 2n2 jus rocks loh. wana b wid dem foreve and evasss. no matter wad we will b togteher..

weepss..!

2004-11-04T04:44:00.000-08:00

damm love tis quote lah. took tis pic frm ah leo de blogg.. oops.she gonna kill me le..hahas.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

music diary - winnie

2004-11-02T23:32:00.000-08:00

jus now i listen to my 2 version of ying yue ri ji lah..hais! so touchingg and i decided to write my own story and mayb i will send it over... hehes. see!

[[ 22.o2.o3. ]] at e skool bball.i saw him [[ xz ]] . he was shoo cute looking and chubby loh. everyone was playin vball except me and he walk up to me and acc me. we had a great tok. and i noe at tat time i fell in love wid me. it's makes me blive 'love @ first site'. a few daes later i heard tat one of my good frens. 'm' and zz stead loh. hais. i was so sadded at tat time. but i tell myself i will nv break dem up. daes by daes pass and one dae he came up to me and told me i love you. hahas. u understand tat kind of feel? but it was all jokes i noe. frm tat daes onwards afta evrydae i walk pass his cls he would sae i love you. actually he not onli sae to me but some of my frens. he would always do alot of mushy things lah.he started calling me dear and sending lots of love picture msg to me. 'm' startedto hate me cos i tink she tot i was goin to b e 3rd party lah. hais. at tat time i felt left up and i cried but he was dere to cheer me up. he told me not to worry and he will help me solve de probs loh. at e time i was relived . i trusted on him and i knew tat i can count on him. he aso promise me tat he would nv jokes dose kind of thing wid me again. i asked myself shd i b happie or shd i not? shd he sae he love me wen he doesn't? hais. i was puzzled. afta all i didn't care much but see e both of dem happily together.

here's all. i am satisfied .. at least he still cares bout me and nv avoid me even since he knew i love him. now he hab someone in heart le.i hope to see both of dem together.. jiayous..xiaozhu! he bought me lots of pains and happiness and both bcame memoriess..cry fer him alot of times jus bcosi love him